Dear Daughter,
I’m starting to think that you’re quite content in the massive mansion that is my uterus. While this has been acceptable for the better part of the last nine months, I’m sorry to inform you that it is no longer an “hospitable environment.” You see, my bladder hates you, my ribs are sick of the incessant kicking, my belly button, well, she reeaaalllly hates you, and the rest of my internal organs are planning a ‘smoke the monster out’ party—to be held in your honor, if you know what I mean. For your safety, and to be sure we keep you around, I think a prompt entrance is in order. And by prompt, I mean quick, painless, and like, well, NOW! If you agree to these terms and conditions, I will stop referring to you as a she-devil and swearing to the high heavens to box you up and post you ‘return to sender.’ Please hurry.
Lovingly yours,
Mom
Thursday, June 18, 2009
she devil
Posted by o-town at 9:09 AM
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2 comments:
Jess,
I am so sorry that you are still "with child". She is apparently not quite ready for her abrupt entrance into this world! I am sorry that you have resorted to referring to her as "She-devil", I hope she kicks it in the fanny, to deter any worse names! May the force be with you. And, now my friend you know what people mean when they say "I don't care how you get it out, just get it out!"
XOXO
Mer
Good times! It will be here before you know it and then you'll wish she was still in there (much easier to care for ;)) Good luck, keep your chin up and go jump on a trampoline or something!!
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